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After I brought my first baby home from the hospital and my husband returned to work, it dawned on me that I would have to leave her alone to shower.

What if she cried?

I wheeled the bassinet from the nursery into the hallway so she’d be closer, stepped into the bathroom, and shut the door.

Re-opened the door, marched back to the sleeping infant, rolled her bassinet flush with bathroom doorway, tiptoed back in, and shut the door.

Considered bringing the bassinet in the bathroom – decided I’d just hurry up and get it over with.

The baby did survive.

She’s now 26.

Do you find yourself scrambling for shower time?  Wishing you could fix your hair in something other than a rushed pony tail, maybe apply a little makeup?  No matter what transition of life you’re in, the struggle is real to find the ideal grooming regimen.

Take pride in yourself

Many moms give up on their looks after the babies came along.  I determined not to be one of them.

Why?

1.For my own sanity

2.For my husband’s pleasure

3.To be a good example to my kids

But mostly number one.  I just feel better when I look nice.  Don’t you?

How to shower when you’re short on time:

1.Only shave one leg and arm pit per day

Totally serious here.

At least you’ve got one side covered and it gets you out of the shower before the kids destroy the house.  I literally did this when my kids were small.

2.Wait till naps

3.Do it before the husband leaves for work

4.Do it at night.

Be sure to use moisturizer after showering to keep skin soft and fight against dryness.

Hair

Take care of your hair to keep it healthy.

You’ll feel better ridding yourself of those split ends or sporting a new “do”.

Choose a style that’s easy and fast to fix – it’s what you need with little ones, or if you’re usually running short on time!

Well kept hair says a lot about a person.

Make up

I used to be a Mary Kay Cosmetics consultant, which I absolutely loved, so here’s some practical advice from my beauty salesman years!

Not everyone likes makeup, so I’m offering a few mix-and-match color options that take seconds to apply:

Super quick pick-me-ups:

1. Blush and lip gloss.

I love a shimmery gloss with a bit of pink or coral.

2. Eye shadow and eyeliner.

Eye primer is also a life-savor – apply to lids before eye shadow, helping it stay put and not slide off your face.

3. Foundation (for a more even look).

Choose one that matches your skin tone and doesn’t have an orange cast.  (Test in natural light.)

Smooth make up lines past your jaw line and onto your neck.

Invest in a brush applicator – you won’t get makeup on your hands, and it gives a nice, finished look.

4. Mascara

An eye lash curler helps if your lashes stick straight down (like mine).  Use a blow dryer to warm the curler for 10 seconds before using for optimum results.

My girls thought I was losing my marbles the first time they saw me blow-drying my eyelash curler.

No kidding – I do it every day.

5. Don’t forget moisturizer – use oil -free if necessary.

Be sure to also moisturize your neck and care for it as well – when you get older, you’ll be glad (because honey, old skin sags)!

Clothing

Even if you don’t go out much, you can still look nice when you do.

You can find cute clothes at discount prices (my daughters love TJ Maxx).

Take care of your feet

Be practical.  I mean really – do you need high-heeled boots for walking the mall with your kid?

It is possibly to look cute and be comfie at the same time!

If you don’t buy good shoes, your feet will pay for it later.

There’s a lot to be said for arch support.

Been there – done that.

Choose clothes according to your shape. 

If you have trouble deciding what looks nice, bring a friend along for constructive advice.

Not everyone can pull off leggings…

Don’t go out in your grunge clothes. 

The second you do that, you’ll see someone you know, and then you’ll feel like a dweeb.

A word of caution

Anyone can become obsessed with looks, whether young, middle-aged, or great-grandma status.

Make sure you’re not doing it to impress someone who’s not your husband.

You may think it’s harmless, but that is a dangerous path, my friend.

Guard your marriage like a closet full of Ann Taylor dress suits. Share on X

Because the fact of the matter is, it’s far more priceless than that.

Young mama – by now you’ve realized there’s no such thing as a fairy tale marriage.

Don’t flirt with danger – don’t even glance that way.  In his book, The Five Love Languages – How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman says,

“The person who is ‘in love’ has the illusion that his beloved is perfect.” 

and also

“True love cannot begin until the ‘in love’ experience has run its course”

and finally,

“Love is a choice”.

Recall what initially drew you to your husband and focus on his strengths.

Remember, you are his helpmeet.  True love practices selflessness.

My girls – aren’t they cute? They can pull off leggings so much better than their mama…

Older mama – you’re probably nearing the empty nest transition; kids in college developing lives of their own.

You see them dating and realize your season has come and gone.

You may wish for it back.

Replace that wish with thankfulness for your current time of life, and find new hobbies (but keep the husband).

My daughter told me something disturbing the other day.

She said she has many college friends with messed-up moms.

One mother constantly texts her daughter’s friends – especially the guys.  (Weird.)

Another became obsessed with her daughter’s choice of boyfriend and threw a tantrum because “he’s too ugly for you”.

My girl stated, “My eyes have been opened to some strange moms.  I got the best one.”

I wanted to cry my eyes out.

What she got was a sub-par, selfish, sanctified sinner-of-a-mother.

I told her so.

She needs to know I’m not perfect.

But God is faithful.

Mom:  it’s not all about looks.  Don’t obsess about yourself or your daughter.

Mid-life crises is a real thing. 

It ain’t pretty, and if you don’t get a handle on your thought life, some ugly stuff’s gonna go down.

Same goes for marriage at any age where God is not at the forefront.

“I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to your testimonies” ~Psalm 119:59

“So shall I keep Your law continually, forever and ever. 

And I will walk at liberty, forever and ever.” ~Psalm 119:44-45

Girlfriend, God’s Word is liberating!

Wash yourself anew in the Holy Word daily, memorize Scripture, write it on 3×5 cards and wear it on your forehead like the Israelites if you need to.

Maintain an attitude of prayer.

God will absolutely free you from the bondage of your thought life, if you let Him.

He is the God of second chances, the God of victory, the all powerful, all mighty, all forgiving, loving God – and nothing is too hard for Him!

Take Him at His Word.  He WILL change you and make you beautiful in His time.

There’s no substitute for inner beauty.

Run for the shower cap, mama.  Budget your time to care for your body, hair, makeup, clothes – the whole grooming process.  But don’t forget the most important grooming tool of all – God’s Word.  Because inner beauty is the only lasting beauty.

“Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.

 The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear of God.” ~Proverbs 31:30