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Have you ever stopped to think of all the perfectionistic tasks we impose on ourselves?

Get all the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away TODAY.

Plan dinner for the next two weeks without eating out once (sticking to a budget).

Get all the Christmas shopping done this weekend.

Bake all the Christmas cookies.

Wrap all the presents.

Are you tired, mom?

I am.

Who puts these expectations on me, anyway?

Not God.

(Insert “L” with thumb and forefinger on forehead now.)

God has shown me one truth very clearly during this holiday season –

I don’t have to be:

• perfect
• carrying more faith
• at a certain level of Christianity

for Him to work in my life.

BOOM.

Let that sink in.

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Letter from a mom seeking hope

I just wanted to thank you for your blog and tell you how important it is.  I just got home from the

funeral of a good friend who committed suicide shortly after the nest was empty.  Her daughter said

she felt like she had lost all three of them.  At the funeral, I realized she died because she had run out

of hope.  Several of the things you said in your last article came to mind as I listened to the musicians

playing hymns.  Especially about the expiration of God’s gifts.  It really is okay they expire when He

decides.  Thank you, {your blog} is helping women in all the stages of their lives!

The above was written to me by an old friend I’ve looked up to for years.  She is experiencing the empty nest period as well, seeking answers about the next step in her life.

God directed me to write that post, as sure as I am sitting here in sunny Florida on a Monday morning in my short sleeves and sun visor.

And He directed me to write it because I answered a call He had for me.

God has an answer for you, mom.  Whether you are an empty-nester seeking your next place in life, or whether you are a young mama wondering how many times you have to break up a fight today and if you can at least finish your coffee before the next one.

But while you are seeking your place, or while you are slurping down your cold coffee, God is at work.

You may think He isn’t, but He is.

When you find yourself delayed and running late for an appointment and you come upon a wreck, what’s your first thought?

Mine is usually, “Thank you, Lord.  I know you saved me from being in that wreck.”

Why don’t we view our down-times that way too?

Because we don’t think we’re doing anything important enough?

Because laundry doesn’t seem divinely appointed?

Wiping up spilled milk and scrubbing dirty counters are just avenues of frustration – they’re keeping me from doing the stuff I really need to get done.

The “important” stuff.

Christ told Martha there was only one thing needed.  Remember that?

Why is that?

Because if we are abiding in Christ and practicing His love, we ARE IN GOD’S WILL.

And that means – wait for it:

We are doing God’s will.

The biggest doubt

Truly, I know what you’re thinking.

“I didn’t have my devotions today. Or, I lost my temper with my two-year-old.  My husband knew I was mad at him when he left for work this morning.  I haven’t even prayed yet.”

Are you still a Christian?  Does God still love you?  Is He saving you until the end of time?

If you believe that, then He is still using you –

even in your humanity.

Dear mom, it’s not as bad as you think!

Crises of a 7-year-old

I recently read an excellent mother/daughter blog post that described a birthday party the seven-year-old daughter attended.  Waiting in anticipation for the birthday girl to open the gift she brought, she instead experienced tears of disappointment at the reaction.

Upon returning home, she poured her heart out to her mama, who wisely made a gesture in the shape of a fish tank and counseled her to sift through the duckies and the rocks (what to let float and what to let go).

The lesson stuck with that little girl until she wrote about it in an essay.

The mom has no recollection of any of this.  Not the party, the rejection her daughter shared, nor her wise counsel.  You see, this mama was dealing with major health issues, barely making it through each day.

She wondered how she even had the presence of mind to help her baby.

And she didn’t.

That was all God.

What are you doubting today?

I know you think God’s not using you today as you dash to Krogers, toddlers in tow, scrambling for dinner staples and trying to keep the kids from having a conniption in the store.

You didn’t go to church last Wednesday night.  You’re not going to make it through the Bible this year in your devotions.

If only you’d gotten up earlier, been faster, eaten healthier, been wiser…

STOP.

Just stop.

God is keeping you.  Are you acknowledging His presence today?  Are you still a believer today?  Do you still love Him?  Do you believe His Word?

The Message speaks of abiding in Christ as “living deeply”. 

No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. ~I John 3:6.

Are you trying to sin?  Is it your aim in this life?  No?

Then rest and abide.

As it was Jesus Who drew you when He spake “Come”, so it is Jesus who keeps you when He says, “Abide”.  The grace to come and the grace to abide are alike from Him alone. ~Abide in Christ, Andrew Murray

Abiding isn’t hard.  It’s part of Christ’s yoke that He said was easy.

Acknowledge that you are God’s child and get on with it.

He.is.working.in.you.

How do I know?

Dear one, I made so many mistakes when my kids were growing up.  Zillions, even.

I’m sure they can name a few.  (Don’t ask them – they’ll get on a roll.)

And I knew I was faulty and less-than.

But God was working even then.

Hear me well, mom:

God does not wait until you’re perfect to use you!

Yes, you and I will sin.  That’s why Christ died for us.

But He lives for us so that we will abide.

And then, He works.

A text from my (college) daughter

I feel bad because I could’ve had such a productive day but I slept for like 4 hours.  I just didn’t have that much studying I could do and I’ve been so busy all week/weekend.

In the midst of my ponderings upon this very subject, she sent me that text.  And because God has been revealing His grace so much to me of late (or I should probably word that “because I’ve allowed myself to taste more freely of His grace of late”), I responded this way:

Oh well, do what you can and leave the rest.  God is in charge of your moves anyway so He will work it all out the way it is supposed to go.

Rest in Him!

She said,

Thanks, marm, you wise woman!

And I chuckled.

She is the one who loaned me the book “Abide in Christ” that I cited earlier.

My grown children are spurring me to godliness.

Know why?

Because God was using me in the midst of dirty diapers and Science projects.

And He is using you too.

Dear mom, it’s not as bad as you think

So, keep breathing up those prayers, mama.  Indeed, keep acknowledging His presence.  And, keep that Bible open on your kitchen counter – snatching bits and pieces as you dash by with the cheerios.  The 3×5 written Words of Life in your kitchen window.

Empty-nesting mama, remain faithful right where you are and then seek, knock on a few doors, step out of that comfort zone.  God’s not done with you yet.  Oh no.  He’s got some excitement up His sleeve!

God knows your heart.

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love;  let’s practice real love.  This is the only way we’ll

know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality.

It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it.

For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re

bold and free before God!  We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because

we’re doing what He said, doing what pleases Him.

And this is how we experience His deep and abiding presence in us:  by the Spirit He gave us. ~I John 3:18-22, 24

Just in time for Christmas!

©Depositphotos.com/Jeffbank

I’m SO excited, girlfriend!

I have a new free gift for you to access when you sign up to receive my newsletter (which by the way is chock full of valuable resources, with a little bit of humor thrown in)!

Don’t miss out on this offer – “5 Secret Strategies to keep your marriage thriving” (the sequel to Five Key Strategies to keep your marriage Alive) -and when you sign up, you will ALSO receive my “Top Ten Tips to Rearing a Confident Young Man!”

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Thanks, and may you experience Christ’s presence in the little things this season.

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