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Once per week during March and April, Rear Release Regroup and MTO (Mom Time Out) is featuring a special guest focusing on “mom anger” – how to cope with those “blow it” moments!
These dear moms offer words of encouragement, support, and wise tips for when that old temper flares! This is a valuable resource, so be sure to stay tuned each week – and if you’re not on our email list, you may sign up here to ensure you don’t miss a single post!
My guest is Deb Wolf from Counting My Blessings and she is such a sweet, godly lady, full of wisdom and life experience! Deb has been married for 44 years and is a mom and grandmother so we can all learn from her tenure as a mom! Every time I read one of her posts, I come away with a valuable nugget of truth and I’m excited for you to read her encouraging words today!
Forgiveness is the answer for anger and mommy guilt
Recently one of my favorite young moms called me to talk. She was still struggling hours later over a morning meltdown that happened with her little one.
The morning started like any other, except . . . she hadn’t slept well and she was hurrying to meet an important deadline.
Her little person woke up in typically pleasant fashion, but with stronger than normal opinions about what he was going to wear.
This momma is very good at evaluating the situation and choosing her battles carefully, but this particular morning fatigue and hurriedness took over and their opinions collided in a big way.
She was impatient and he was upset.
10 minutes into the morning and he was having a very unusual tantrum and she didn’t have time to stop and talk. She was tired, frustrated, and now she was late.
Forgiveness is the answer for anger and mommy guilt #MadMomMakeover Click To Tweet
Can you relate?
It’s been years since I’ve had little ones in the house, but oh, I can remember those moments well.
As our conversation continued, she told me that they had worked things out before leaving for pre-school. She’d reminded her little boy that opinions were great, but temper tantrums were not. That although what he wanted to wear may have been fine . . . she could not give in because of the way he had acted.
Although he didn’t get to wear the shirt he wanted the way he wanted, they’d hugged and kissed and he went off to school.
But she still felt terrible. Mommy guilt. All she could think about that day was how she could have done a better job and possibly prevented the whole situation.
Mommy guilt. It starts during pregnancy and if we’re honest for many of us there are things we still feel guilty about years later.
If you can relate, I have a little encouragement for you today.
Do you suffer from mommy guilt? Encouragement today from a mom who's been there! #MadMomMakeover Click To Tweet
Momma, life happens. You are not perfect and you are not raising perfect children and that’s okay. Somedays you’re tired. Sometimes they’re cranky. Sometimes you’re cranky. Sometimes personalities clash.
But there is something I told this sweet mom that you may need to hear too. These less than desirable moments are perfect opportunities to demonstrate and teach forgiveness. I suggested she take a few minutes that evening and talk to her little one again and tell him she was sorry for her part in the way the morning played out. She had forgiven him, now she could give him the chance to forgive her.
And she did. She asked him if he remembered their morning.
He said, “Oh yes, mommy.”
She went on, “Well, we talked about how you might have acted better, but we didn’t talk about mommy. I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job of listening to you. I’m sorry I didn’t try to understand why you wanted to wear your shirt that particular way. Will you forgive me?”
“Sure mommy! It’s all-right!” he answered and quickly ran off to play.
Lesson applied! Teaching by example. Giving them the opportunity to follow your example. All things that make for lessons to be more than just talked about . . . they become lessons learned.
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Deuteronomy 6:6–7
The blessing of forgiveness
It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it?
You are forgiven. Your Father loves you. Your children love you. It’s okay for you to embrace it. Forgive yourself.
Believe me, I get mom guilt! I think I’ve enjoyed a PhD in it! But I’m doing better. I’m learning to receive His grace. Who am I kidding, I’m clinging to His grace. Because it is sufficient.
Most of the things you beat yourself up over your children won't remember! #MadMomMakeover Click To Tweet
God’s grace is the answer to my messiness and it’s the answer to yours too. His grace covers your tired and cranky moments. Cling to it. Claim it.
You’re doing a good job. It’s a high calling to raise your littles. Just keep doing the best you can and love them with all you’ve got.
One more thing . . . I can promise you that most of the things you’re beating yourself up over your children won’t remember. What they’ll remember is how much you loved them and the time you invested in showing them just how much!
Since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Romans 5:1
Deb Wolf wants to tell you how she was transformed from a “good little church girl” into someone who is simply overwhelmed by God’s love. Deb believes every day is a gift and should be celebrated and filled with laughter. Please visit her at Counting My Blessings to find out more about her progress through The Faith Project. (She would love for you to connect with her on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter.)
Come join us at MTO!
MTO is a closed Facebook group for moms in the trenches, tired of reacting to daily conflicts or annoyances with anger or frustration.
At MTO you will find:
-A place to share your story and interact with others who have been there too.
-Support, encouragement, Scripture Pillars, Goals, and a plan of action for attacking those feelings of overwhelm and frustration.
-Daily pick-me-ups {Scripture, inspiration, or a devotional}
-Community – moms coming alongside and lifting up one another
Click on the picture or any of the orange links to>>> join MTO today!
Come on, mom – we’re waiting for you!
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Ruthie, I’m so blessed to be part of the Mad Mom Makeover. It’s been a fantastic series. Thanks for helping moms know they’re not alone by offering them not only helpful advice but a place to connect and find encouragement. God bless you!!
You bless me, Deb!! Thank you so much for being huge part of this! Moms need to know that God is every bit as forgiving as He is just. Your story and words are being used to encourage! I’m sharing it with the MTO group today – they will be so glad for your wise words! 🙂
Being vulnerable and allowing our children to see that we all need grace, that even parents need to ask for forgiveness, is such an important lesson that points our children towards God. I’m so thankful for grace. This was an encouraging story. Thank you for blessing me.
I agree, Dawn. Not only forgiving our children but giving them an opportunity to forgive us. Grace in action.
Great post! It’s definitely valuable for children to see how asking for forgiveness plays out. Even when we have a melt down, it can still be a teachable moment.
Thanks so much! Always looking for those teachable moments to help these truths stick! I know I remember more when I have to apply it. Blessings to you, Jerralea!