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The two-year old collapsed in near hysteria, begging to hold mommy’s fudge sickle, and {gasp} – mommy said no.

“Pweeeeeeeeese!”

“No, honey.  Mama’s got to hold it, but you can have a bite.”

He flung himself on the sofa, spouting tears, his little cheeks red in consternation,  “PWEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!”

Wouldn’t it just be easier to let him have his way?

Is it so bad to give in after saying no?  After all, compromise is the stuff relationships are built on, right?

Let’s explore the subject of how to raise your children to obedience, shall we?

>>>>Also read The one battle you won’t win with your kid; 8 tips for picky eaters<<<<<

 1.  Say “yes” as often as possible

I once heard Doctor James Dobson of Focus on the Family say that because we invariably must say no to so many things, as often as is in our power, we need to say yes.

This means:

>>Nix the automatic “no”.

If that is your practice, and you realize later the request was legitimate and change your mind, your kid will often not believe your “no”.  Consider the request first (without letting them beg incessantly).

>>Accept the fact that you must give of yourself

Saying yes often means we have to monitor the situation, drive the kid somewhere, or push them in a swing for what seems like an hour (which in reality is only 15 minutes).

Guess what – you are that child’s parent, which means you are teaching them important lessons like how to be a servant.  It’s ok to serve our children.  In fact, we are called to that the moment we put on the parenting hat.

Take the time to say yes and invest your time.  When the kids are grown and gone, they will remember times of discipline, but they will also remember that you said yes.

And your yes is equally as important as your no.

2.  Build solid relationships

>>Communication

Talk to your children on their level.  Include them in family conversations.  And listen, listen, and listen some more.  Don’t interrupt when they tell you something you don’t want to hear.  Hear them out first; correct later.

>>Laughter

If you don’t laugh with your kids (and at them), you are missing out, and so are they.  Strong bonds are built through shared giggles over knock-knock jokes and dinner-time stories.  I know, because that’s how I was raised.

And that’s how I raised my kids.

>>Forgiveness

Once you’ve disciplined, let it go.  Go on about your business as if nothing happened, and don’t hang it over her head.

Remember how awful it feels when you’ve blown it? And how wonderful the feeling upon receiving forgiveness? Your child needs that.  Hug them, love them, and forgive them.

3.  Just say no

In order to instill obedience in a child, it’s necessary to say no.  And not just for your sanity, but also for their safety.

>>Look him in the eye with a serious look on your face.

>Firmly say no, and don’t leave room for doubt (cracking smiles, wavering, or not answering).

>Stick to your guns (if you say no, carry through, even though they may throw a gymnastics fit on you)

>Don’t let them plead over and over again (this begins young – be patient, but as they age, don’t go down that road or they’ll wear you out).

>>Be consistent by all means.  If the rule is no, follow through!  Don’t confuse your children – that will do more harm than good.  Consistency takes effort, but the rewards definitely pay off!

If your kids don’t learn to obey your voice – the person they can see – then how will they learn to obey their heavenly Father – whom they cannot see?  ~Chip Ingram, How to develop your child’s full potential

Teach your children that you mean it when you say no.  And use the teaching style that relates to their age.

Teaching your child to obey could even save his life someday.  In the above link, Chip Ingram cites a story concerning his child who didn’t listen because Chip wasn’t teaching him to obey.  His child ran ahead and was almost hit by a car.  He realized that very day how important it is to raise his child to obedience.

Your number one priority as a parent is to teach your child to obey. Mom:  take this job seriously!

4.  Don’t be the BFF

Click on this picture to join!

Sorry, not sorry.

My own kid (that strong-willed “swiller”) actually thanked me last summer over a family bonfire for not being her BFF during the teen years.  For saying “no” and following through.

If you’re afraid your kid won’t love you because you say no you’ve got self-esteem problems.  This whole parenting thing is not about you – it’s about developing good character in your kid.

Yes, it will be hard, and yes, it will be rocky sometimes.

You’re not trying to win friends, you’re trying to grow mature, godly, confident adults.

And about that fudgesickle

The two-year-old (lovingly called, The Tiny Tornado), did not get his way that day.

He cried many crocodile tears and wallered the floor in great botheration.

Someone had the genius idea to distract him with play doh, thus cutting the episode short by milliseconds.

Tiny Tornado did not get his way.

But he still knows he’s loved – and safe with boundaries.

Raise your children to obedience through 4 trusted tactics

Adapt tactics according to age.

1.)  Say yes as often as possible, even when it’s not convenient.

2.)  Value your relationship with your kids and work towards building a bond, yet

3.)  realize that your job is to remain the parent and not the best friend.  

4.)  And finally, say no because it’s your job to establish boundaries.

You can raise your children to obedience!  My mama always said, “If you each your children to obey, others will thank you for it!”

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