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Statistics say 85% of families encounter strong-willed child battles. Out of my four children, two who were strong-willed. But the more I think about it, the more I realize they were all strong-willed in their own way.
Some were just silently stubborn.
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Anyway, lots of books have been written on the subject of strong willers (I call them “swillers” for short), and moms crave advice on the subject. I can relate.
Boy, can I relate.
Common Strong willed child battles
Last week my “Swiller” daughter potty trained her Swiller son (I call him The Tornado) in 3 days. Would that we could all do this, right?
Over time, I’ve polled moms, researching the topic for answers, and drawn from my own potty training experiences (4 times over). When it came down to it there were basic steps to put into place, and once she did that, it worked like a charm.
You can read the post, How to actually potty train your strong-willed child in 3 days for tips!
Back to more strong-willed child battles.
Most moms pull their hair out, brainstorming solutions for how to handle their Swiller.
Questions such as:
- How do I get him to eat?
- How do I get her to obey?
- And, how do I stop him from arguing?
- How can I get her to stop bullying her siblings?
- How do I get him to study?
And the list goes on.
Swillers will get your goat every time…
If you let them.
Strategy for strong-willed child battles
So what’s a mama to do? How can you parent a Swiller without losing your cool every 5 seconds? How can you get them to do what you want?
What can you do to get them to see your side when you say no?
Well here’s the deal – you don’t.
Kids are kids and adults are adults. Therefore, kids don’t understand or want to obey.
Especially Swillers.
But since we’re the adults, we need to act like adults and not buy into the crazy train. (Check out my parenting post on Arabah Joy called 10 Verses to Tame your Tongue .)
We have to calm down, matter-of-factly state the case, and expect obedience – “or else”.
And if “else” happens, we must carry out the consequences (also matter-of-factly).
This is hard. I do know this. I know.
{Believe me when I say I know.}
Would you believe it if I told you both my Swillers grew up to have a terrific relationship with their dad and I, AND their siblings? That they are fully functioning adults who know right from wrong and hold themselves responsible?
They don’t even throw temper tantrums on me anymore.
(I have to snicker a little bit under my breath when the Tornado gives my Swiller daughter a run for her money. But she knows why. And she admits her Swiller nature.)
Encouragement for your divine calling
Hang in there, mama. As D.L. Moody said, “Do right till the stars fall”.
Whoever is slack in his work
is a brother to him who destroys.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
the righteous man runs into it and is safe. Proverbs 18:9-10, ESV
Rearing the strong-willed child is a marathon, not a race. Each day builds upon the last, each hour, each minute – 
even the seconds. Choose wisely to face the hard task and say no when necessary.
You’re not the friend.
You’re the mom. God has appointed you to mother your child, and He will give strength to embrace your calling.
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives. Hebrews 12:6, NKJV
What questions do you have about how to deal with your Swiller? Comment below and let me know. The struggle is real!
It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God.
C.S. Lewis
Get a boost from these 7+ hacks and resources for strong-willed child battles!
1). For the mom tired of her own temper in strong-willed children battles
My ebook, Count to Nine; 9 Liberating Steps for Mom Frustration and Anger ($9.99)
2). To the mom who feels invisible
Featured article on For Every Mom (originally posted on Arabah Joy)
3). For the mom who’s tired of failing
My newest ebook, Stepping Stones; 8 Mindsets for the mom who thinks she’s failing at motherhood, ($2.99 sold on Amazon.)
4). To the mom of preschoolers
My contributor post at Crosswalk.com, 10 Things to say to your Preschooler
5). For the overwhelmed mom who thinks God is asking too much
Crosswalk contributor post: Why does God expect so much of moms?
6). For when dad’s not on the same page with discipline
How to discipline on a united front: 8 hacks to get hubby on board
7). For the mom who needs action verses for graceful speech
10 Verses to cultivate life-giving speech for your mama tongue
Additional resources for strong-willed child battles
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